Project: Color me Beautiful – Broken But Not Ashamed
Broken But Not Ashamed
By: Sophonie
I was never your “average” kid. While other kids talked about their favorite cartoons I thought about the pornography tape I watched the night before and the disgusting feeling of a man on top of me. I was a five year old girl being sexually abused by my uncle. At the age of 12, I was molested by a member in the church. It was as if I walked around with a sign on my forehead that read “Here’s my body do as you please”. By the time I was 25, I was married then divorced, trapped in a world of sex, drugs and alcohol addiction, and even attempted suicide several times. I truly hated myself. I was living but not existing.
I woke up every day not wanting to live. My life felt so meaningless. I was mad at the world, I was mad at myself but most of all I was mad at God. I was at the bottom, the very bottom of the pit. I became a slave to sin and my life was nothing but shame. I looked in the mirror and could not even see my own reflection. I reached that point in my life where I finally threw in the towel. I became friends with a girl who had graduated from a program called, “Mercy Ministries.” Even though I had lost all hope, something inside me wanted to live. I applied to Mercy thinking it was my last chance. While I was there I realized for the first time in my life that God saw the best in me. It did not matter where I had been, it did not matter what I had done or even what had been done to me because when God looked at me God saw his son. He gave me this life I never knew existed. When I would look into the mirror, I saw nothing. Now, I see this fearfully and wonderfully made women just glowing like never before. I learned to color myself beautifully when I learned to love myself so now I can love others. I am able to travel and tell my story not from a victim’s perspective but from a place of Victory!
My Mission in life is to travel the world and to empower women from all walks of life. I want to be an ambassador for God’s kingdom bringing hope to the world one soul at a time.
Peace, Love, & Harmony,
Sophonie
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