I Could Not Sleep
I could not sleep so I am up now writing. I have not even fully processed my thoughts enough to know what this entry will be about, but I feel moved to write. It was during the week of March 9th that I found out a college friend of mine suddenly passed away. It stirred in me some emotions and it even struck in me questions that I would want to ask of myself before that time came. I was sad that he was gone but glad to have known him. The out pouring of love that came as a result of his passing was magnificent to witness. When you do life right and 45 minutes at a time as he would have it, how could you not receive that amount of love! I began to ask of myself, was I living the kind of life that would merit that kind of an outpouring? After meeting people, how did I make them feel? Was I leaving a lasting and positive impression on others? Were just some of the many questions that came rushing in my mind.
At the end of the day when everything is all said and done, I do not want to have to ask for more time with loved ones. Wait….What? Please hear me out; I want to live my life so intentionally that family and close friends and spending time with them is my priority. Many times we get so busy and caught up with life, work, events and things that we begin to race this imaginary clock where more time with loved ones is our wish because we did not make enough time for it while we were living. Let me tell you something that I learned tonight and continue to learn over and over again. For everyone out there who is grieving and struggling with loss, know this, “Our God is an intentional God and He makes no mistakes…None.” I know we may not realize it while we are in the midst of the pain, but just know that God will reveal what he knows through the mercy and grace that he has over our lives.
Even in the midst of our weakness, He is strong. You will see, God will use us not despite our weaknesses but through our weaknesses. If …your friend, your significant other, your mother, your sister, your brother, your cousin, your auntie, your uncle, and your etc. has passed and you are at your weakest point just know that beautiful things will come from it. The Lord/higher power will use us while we are right in the middle of our weakness. Who knows…Susie’s death may spark in you the desire to do research to find the cure for the disease that took her life, Tyrell’s death may cause you to live your life more intentionally, and Robin’s death may invigorate in you an old passion to sing. Point is with every dark event like death there is always light to be shown. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The goodness of life will prevail…you just have to believe. As always I thank you for reading. Until next time…take care and be true!
