Reaction Post: #Hurtbae
How many of you have seen the viral video known as #hurtbae this week? Well if you have not seen it watch it now and I will catch you up to speed. The video documents real life ex’s Kourtney and Leonard confronting each other about their past hurts in the relationship. The short video focuses on the constant cheating that happened in the relationship that eventually ended it. The video depicted a vulnerable Kourtney and a cool, calm and collected Leonard. Many people including myself felt for the raw emotions we saw #hurtbae displaying, while others could not understand why such a beautiful woman could stand for such blatant disrespect through the constant cheating that she endured at the hands of Leonard.
As far as Leonard is concerned, many thought he was unemotional and just plain right did not care that he hurt Kourtney. Now look I really don’t want to get in between a relationship amongst strangers I probably will never meet but I do want to talk about the discussion this video has sparked. I am sure now more than ever we want to know, “why do men cheat?” Why?
In a psych blog written by Robert Weiss, we find out what some of the real reasons as to why men cheat. They are as following:
- Insecurity – He may feel like he is not enough in many ways i.e.: handsome enough, rich enough, smart enough, powerful enough, etc. Cheating is usually what alleviates any cheaters insecurity because it makes him feel validated, wanted, desired and worthy.
- Entitlement – Plain and simple he feels like he deserves something special like a little side action.
- Selfishness – His primary concern in the relationship has and will always be himself and himself alone.
- Psychological Trauma – There may be unresolved childhood trauma that may have happened to him i.e.: neglect, emotional/physical abuse that has him unable or willing to commit to one person.
- Unrealistic Expectations – He has these strong beliefs about his partner that she should fulfill his every desire, sexual and otherwise, 24/7, no matter what. When these strong beliefs are not met, he seeks validation and fulfillment elsewhere.
I could list a few more reasons why men may cheat but I won’t. What is most important is that we know the main few so as a means to understand a cheater’s reasoning behind their actions. Most men may never have just one single factor driving their decision to cheat. And if I am real most women will not care what those reasons are because they will be too involved in the fact that there was trust that was betrayed that they may never get back. Regardless of why men cheat there needs to be an understanding from those men like Leonard that he did not have to do it. Period!!!There are and will be other options i.e.: couples therapy, separation, divorce. Before men like Leonard decide to ruin their integrity and sense of self they should think twice especially considering the #hurtbae result that it produces.
As always I thank you for reading.
Until next time,
Take care and be true.
