Thou Shall Not Worry!

We all hate to worry, so why do we do it?  We worry about the smallest to the largest of things.  We become consumed with the “what ifs” of our lives that it paralyzes us in some way shape or form from really living.  “What if I did not do this right? What if I did not do that…?  What if I am not where I am supposed to be?”  “Yea well what if!”  The “What ifs” in the instances previously mentioned are all negative.  They are the kind of worrying that keeps us up at night, damages our health and that causes all sorts of problems for us.  Not all worrying has to be negative however; there are positive beliefs about worrying as well. Positive beliefs about worrying may spur us into action to solve a problem.  So how do we get to that kind of positive worrying,  do you ask?  With six simple steps I will show you how to train your brain to remain calm and to look at life from a more meaningful and positive perspective.

Thou Shall Not Worry Fundamentals

• Face the worry
• Learn to accept uncertainty
• Be cognizant of how others affect you
• Avoid spending time with people who make you anxious
• Choose wisely your friends/those you confide in
• Learn to be mindful through the practice of mindfulness

Face the worry – Give yourself permission to worry, but put off allowing those thoughts to linger in your brain until later.

• Can I solve the problem – ask you whether or not this problem is solvable or unsolvable. Let us start by determining whether the problem is real or a “what if”, and if it is a “what if” is it realistic and likely to occur.  If it is a problem that we are facing, what can be done to prepare or to control it.  Again if the problem is unsolvable, let us get in tune with our emotions and how we are feeling about that particular unsolvable worry and learn to work past it.
• Challenge the bad thoughts – You want to start by identifying and questioning your bad thoughts. In detail you want to identify what scares or worries you and treat them as hypotheticals rather than facts then with further examination should come a more balanced perspective.  Once you have reached a more balanced perspective you can now begin to challenge through questioning your worries.  You may ask of your worry, “is this worry helpful?  Will the worrying help or hurt me?  Can I look at the situation from a more positive and realistic light?

Learn to Accept Uncertainty – When you are able to accept rather than reject uncertainty that is when the true worrying subsides.  Becoming okay with the unknown, being able to stand doubt and unpredictability are all things that will help you to accept that perhaps your fate is uncertain for the moment. It is okay to not know where life will take you next.

Be Cognizant of how others Affect you – Face it, whether you wish to admit it or not, how you or I feel has a direct correlation with the company that you or I choose to keep.  To track that theory I challenge you to keep a worry journal – write in the journal every time you start to worry and write down the cause.  You will start to notice a pattern that you will soon be able to avoid in the next tip.

Avoid Spending Time with People who make you Anxious – They are usually the people you can only engage with in small doses.  At all costs try to avoid them so that they do not leave you feeling stressed.

Choose wisely your Friends (those you confide in) – Determining who to talk to about situations that make you anxious can be a tricky thing because your friend may not necessarily be the person that is best to speak to in terms of confiding information.  You want to find a friend who will help you to acquire new insight and not someone who may mean well, but who will make your worries grow.

Learn to be Mindful through the Practice of Mindfulness – Through the century old practice of mindfulness you can learn to bring your attention back to the present instead of focusing on a future that may never occur.  The strategy of mindfulness charges you to observe and then let go of what you have observed.  By paying attention to the way your body feels, your breathing rhythm and your changing emotions, you are allowing yourself to remain focused on the present.

Worrying is a thing of the future, if we remember to stay present in the here and now and work on the six steps previously explained, then we will be well on our may to having a more positive thought life and belief system on worrying.  If you want your daily life back, have a more positive thought life; it will help you to relieve anxiety, worry and fear.  Let us get back to being our most authentic self!  As always thank you for reading.

Until next time,

Take care and be true.

#thislifeiliveintruth